September Topic: What words when used make you cringe? Have you considered your word choices carefully when speaking to others? Examples: Gender pronouns, slang terms, etc.
By Jamie Allen Bishop with Jamie Allen Bishop Coaching
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I am very careful about my word choices in writing, but in verbal communication, I am not nearly as thoughtful. If I offend, it is never intentional. I hope most people feel the same about words and the way they verbally communicate, but their words are far less important than my reaction to them.
I’ll be completely honest. There are A LOT of words that make me wrinkle up my nose with a sense of disrespect or judgment if someone dares speak them in my presence – cunt is one that comes to the forefront of my mind.
My cousin can’t stand the word moist. Makes her tighten up her shoulders and cover her ears, chanting soft and comforting sounds to herself as she releases her anxiety over hearing that word. Come to find out, many people find that word cringy – moist – though I admittedly do not understand why.
Another “c” word I have lost patience for is can’t, in addition to mindsets phrases such as I don’t know; I’ve already worked on that; or I give up.
What’s most interesting to me about being affected by these words/phrases is that I am only impatient when I say them. I have all the patience of a Saint when I hear someone else utter them. In fact, my heart and soul open up to them.
I suspect I become more open to them because I relate to their struggle. I know firsthand that it’s not easy to change my mindset or my words to match my new belief. It IS, however, easy to start recognizing how they impact my life and the lives of those around me.
Initially published in 1925, “The Game of Life and How to Play It” by Florence Scovel Shinn is a book based on mindset, specifically as that mindset relates to the Bible. For Shinn, The Good Book is a recipe book to order exactly what you desire – so long as it is pure of heart – directly from The Almighty, Herself (or Himself, as desired).
In this book, Shinn references over and over the idea of how important our words are. In fact, words are so important, another of her books, published in 1928, is titled, “Your Word is Your Wand” meaning our words can create a truly magical experience – a heaven on earth.
So, when I hear myself voice a can’t or other limiting belief, I know it’s time to delve deeper… to look harder… to peel back another layer of my self-sabotage onion.
Growth – emotional, financial, intellectual, physical, and spiritual – is never finished. So long as I am in human form, I am still a work in progress. My judgment of my own words is likely to be far harsher than my opinions of someone else’s words… even the “c” word.
This leads me to the main point of my answer to this question: only I can allow a word to be cringe-worthy. Words don’t have feelings. They invoke feelings. As such, how a word is perceived is 100% on the person having a reaction rather than on the person saying the word.
Does using the “c” word make me cringe? Yes, but that’s my problem, not yours.
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