July 2022

I Was Afraid of Talking to People

by Wil Becker, Turning Leaf Solutions

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When I first got started in business, I was afraid to talk to people about what I was doing. The real problem was that I didn’t know how to talk to people. I barley said, “Hi,” to people at my office job.

I started reading some of the traditionally recommended sales books: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie; How I Raised Myself from Failure to Success in Selling by Frank Bettger; and, How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People by Les Giblin. As I read these books – once, twice, and then a third time; I realized that I could develop these skills.

No, not the sales skills. Those come after the people skills develop. Rather, I learned that by looking at people and saying, “Hello,” I could put a smile on their faces. I could share a little sunshine! I could share some positivity. I also learned to stop and listen to their responses.

Not everyone stops to listen.

I started connecting and learning about my coworkers. We started to have conversations, and I was given information about their lives, provided with a deeper understanding of who they are. I was able to connect on a personal level.

It brought joy to my life and lifted their spirits. I could, by a small act, share this little light of mine. Sometimes, I would catch myself diving right into business, and then back step into asking about them and their weekend or family. Then, I’d turn back to business. I still watch myself because I am task oriented and tend to dive right into the task ahead.

Once I started to develop communication skills because of the lessons learned from the books, I was seen by others as being more human, and it was easier to us to find common ground. I learned to smile more, and I did practice in the mirror!

Today, nearly four years later, I can easily talk to people. I can walk into a store and connect with someone for my business. I can have a conversation with a stranger and leave with a friend.

For example, this weekend on a youth retreat, I met two other youth groups and learned that one of them was from Louisville, Kentucky. One of my brothers lives in Louisville, which was a great connection to discuss further. When I learned that one of the leaders was my brother’s pastor, I was fortunate enough to have a conversation with him. I had only one desire – to genuinely learn about the pastor. His connection to my own family made the weekend that much more fulfilling. Is business in our future? Whether it is or not, I am fulfilled knowing I have a new connection… a new relationship to foster.

Now I go out into the world not to contact but to connect – to have an intentional conversation and to bring some sunshine into another person’s life. Maybe, if they express a need, I will invite them to check out what I am doing. My goal is to help others as much as possible; including to help them have fun, make money, and make a difference!

And, you know what!? My business has flourished since I’ve adopted this new perspective on talking to people.

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Contact Wil Becker at events@turningleafs.com or 1-443-404-7142