By Jill Vater with Jianna Studio Designs

The word that makes me cringe is when someone continually uses the word SORRY.

The definition of sorry is:

feeling distress, especially through sympathy with someone else’s misfortune. For example, “I was sorry to hear about what happened to your family.”

Or feeling regret or penitence. For example, “He said he was sorry he had upset me.”

But when someone uses the word as if it were just another word like it, you, us, etc., it loses the meaning of the word and no longer has the value of what the word truly means. In a way, by continuing to use the word sorry over and over again, makes me want to scream. It’s as if the speaker is disrespecting the person they are talking to.

We need to consider what words we are using and use them appropriately.

Saying, “I’m sorry I forgot to take out the trash” or, “I’m sorry I forgot to do the dishes” becomes an excuse rather than a legitimate apology. The person is not really sorry. They forgot or are just being lazy, and they are using the word sorry as a cop-out.

Think before you speak and choose your words wisely, rather than as common slang.

The words we use should reflect what we are trying to convey to someone. Have emotion when you speak and be kind. When you are happy be enthusiastic, when sad… we can tell by your emotions.

Words, when used improperly, can be as sharp as a sword. Be careful you don’t cut someone with yours.

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By Cheryl Clark with Clark Strategies

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Thanks!

Do not mistake this word being placed there first for a moment of gratitude – it is not.  It is the one word that when I see it used makes me ‘cringe’! 

Thanks!  It seems so flippant, thoughtless, lacks energy, curt, short, effortless.  I think you get the picture.  I don’t know where my distaste for this came from but it’s very real.  THANK YOU!  Now that seems energetic, effort was put into it, more personal, and sincere. 

Have I used the word Thanks?   Yes, but it tends to have that sarcastic meaning when I use it.  That flippant Thanks, thanks a lot! moment when playfully acknowledging something you really don’t wish to acknowledge. 

When others have used this word my direction, I can see it as gratitude and full of meaning coming from them.  I don’t put my viewpoint on the word when it’s expressed by others but inside of me, I think ugh and then come out with the you are welcome moment if applicable.  Funny isn’t it – perception and tastes and how they so differ from person to person.

Gender pronouns were part of the blog topic given this month.  I lead an alternative lifestyle.  Yet, unlike a lot that are part of the alternative lifestyle world, I don’t get hung up on the pronouns or even the labels that tend to be associated with us.

I think we are just to focused on labeling and defining rather than living and being.  Somethings can’t be defined and why do we feel the need to box in anyone or anything with a label is beyond me!

We are walking labels.  Entrepreneur, business owner, sister, Canadian, red-head, blue-eyed girl, hugger, guitar player, female, caring, squirrel fanatic – all labels!  Why some take on more of a priority than others is beyond my comprehension.  Only label I worry about is ‘Cheryl’ and being all, I can be under that big umbrella.

So, with all this being said THANK YOU for reading my blog, or THANKS! 

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Contact Cheryl Clark at team@clarkstrategies.ca

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By Ceone Leistner with ENJO Canada

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GUYS. It’s a simple word right? How often do you use the word “Guys?”

This little word drives me crazy!! It’s like fingers on a chalkboard for me. I am not a guy, I don’t have those body parts. Being called a guy literally causes me to turn off from what you are saying, regardless of how important it may be.

People say it is generic, but let me ask you this….. how would you react as a male if I grouped you all as “Ladies?” See, when you think about it from the other side, it changes things right? Most of the time you don’t need to even use the term. It has become a habit. Habits can be broken!!

As a businessperson, you need to consider the effect that the words you use have on others, including your customers. You may literally be turning business away (like mine)!  Just because something isn’t offensive to you doesn’t mean that it isn’t for others. You also cannot assume based on what you see (consider those that are transitioning).

Do you feel like you must use a term? What about “People” or “Peeps” or something like that? Something truly gender neutral and nonbinary… Be inclusive, not discriminatory.  My friends quickly learned that this wasn’t something I was going to just get over and soon started saying “Guys and Ceone” which I was fine with. Why? The rest of them were males so the term fit for them.  Once I explained why it bothered me so much they understood and started making the adjustments.

I challenge you to actually pay attention to what you are saying. Maybe record yourself on video? Ask someone for input. Changing a few terms may truly help your business and who doesn’t want that?

And don’t get me started on “Chicks.”

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Contact Ceone at cleistner@enjo.ca or 1-705-739-1023

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By Jamie Allen Bishop with Jamie Allen Bishop Coaching

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I am very careful about my word choices in writing, but in verbal communication, I am not nearly as thoughtful. If I offend, it is never intentional. I hope most people feel the same about words and the way they verbally communicate, but their words are far less important than my reaction to them.

I’ll be completely honest. There are A LOT of words that make me wrinkle up my nose with a sense of disrespect or judgment if someone dares speak them in my presence – cunt is one that comes to the forefront of my mind.

My cousin can’t stand the word moist. Makes her tighten up her shoulders and cover her ears, chanting soft and comforting sounds to herself as she releases her anxiety over hearing that word. Come to find out, many people find that word cringy – moist – though I admittedly do not understand why.

The truth is that my heart and soul has lost most of my patience for the word can’t and for limiting belief mindsets phrases such as: I don’t know; I’ve already worked on that; or I give up.

What’s most interesting to me about being affected by these words/phrases is that I am only impatient when I say them. I have all the patience of a Saint when I hear someone else utter them. In fact, my heart and soul opens up to them.

I suspect I become more open to them because I relate to their struggle. I know firsthand that it’s not easy to change my mindset or my words to match my new belief. It IS, however, easy to start recognizing how they impact my life and the lives of those around me.

Initially published in 1925, “The Game of Life and How to Play It” by Florence Scovel Shinn is a book based on mindset, specifically as that mindset relates to the Bible. For Shinn, The Good Book is a recipe book to order exactly what you desire – so long as it is pure of heart – directly from The Almighty, Herself (or Himself, as desired).

In this book, Shinn references over and over the idea of how important our words are. In fact, words are so important, another of her books, published in 1928, is titled, “Your Word is Your Wand” meaning our words can create a truly magical experience – a heaven on earth.

So, when I hear myself voice a can’t or other limiting belief, I know it’s time to delve deeper… to look harder… to peel back another layer of my self-sabotage onion.

Emotional, financial, intellectual, physical, and spiritual growth is never finished. So long as I am in human form, I am still a work in progress. My judgment of my own words is likely to be far harsher than any opinions of someone else’s words… even the “c” word.

Which leads me to the main point of my answer to this question: only I can allow a word to be cringe worthy. Words don’t have feelings. They invoke feelings. As such, how a word is perceived is 100% on the person having a reaction rather than on the person saying the word.

Does using the “c” word make me cringe? Yes, but that’s my problem, not yours.

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Contact Jamie Allen Bishop at info@jamieallenbishop.com or 1-480-203-8911

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